I’m asking you for help because my heart is breaking, even though I have a healthy heart actually. In the picture above, you can see me and my daughter, who might for the rest of her life be left without her mother. I’m in the worst position, one could imagine. I’m dying of cancer at the time I am needed most. I love my daughter more than life, but (ironically) I’m losing my own life. I would give anything to stay here with her.
In July I gave birth to a wonderful little girl, you can see on my knees. She is beautiful, healthy, she grows and develops well. I, on the contrary am weaker day by day, I’m turning inside, I’m losing strength and independence. My heart is filled with great, unspeakable love and gratitude, but my body is madly overtaken by cancer, that wants to hurt us both. If I leave, my daughter Edna will never say the word ‘mother’ to me, she will never remember me.
In a few years time somebody will show her this picture and tell her this terrible story. If I don’t manage, I want to be the mother who fought until the end, I want my daughter to know one day that I didn’t give our love away without a fight.
I have one last chance for treatment. If it is successful, it will show the winner, if not I have already lost….
My name is Paulina, I have a child to raise and cancer to beat!
Almost two years ago, without any warning, in one moment I lost sight in one eye. The first doctor I came across told me straight away- it’s cancer, a rare form of eye melanoma. They told me that melanoma is particularly malignant, that even hours are precious, that you have to start fighting from this very moment, remove the eye and pray for a miracle.
The professors recommended removal of the eyeball, but a chance appeared to save the eye through proton radiotherapy. Difficult and painful therapy saved the eyeball but did not bring the vision back. I could see with only one eye, but I lived! Victory!
Torn between happiness and suffering
Five months after the treatment something wonderful happened. Not only I lived, but it turned out that I would GIVE life soon. I was pregnant, but from a logical point of view I should stop the pregnancy… The doctors made it clear, that with my condition, the pregnancy may lead to a tragedy, that my immune system would be weakened, but what seemed like a choice for the doctors, for me was unquestionable. I knew that the baby is more important, that if one of us has to disappear it has to be me. While pregnant I cried out of happiness and despair interchangeably, because I knew the black scenario- I was so scared of it…
A few month ago, in July, my daughter Edna came to this world. She is wonderful, lovely, just as I dreamt. I cuddled her and for the first time in my life I felt that I truly won, because I knew that now, no matter what she will stay here, a part of me and my love, my gift for her- her life.
I never thought you could have so little luck, in the moment of life that you are so happy. We brought Edna home, I fed her, I put her to sleep, I looked at her for hours, I touched her soft skin. I used every minute of the time that we were given, which was too short. The cancer gave us two months…
Edna will stay without her mother!
This is what I think about constantly for the last three months!
During a routine checkup it turned out that the cancer has spread to my liver and bones. The doctors in Poland are helpless. They say that our best option is to look abroad and take part in clinical trial, because an effective drug has not been invented yet.
Could it be worse? Yes, because in Germany there is a clinical trial for people like me, but the A2 genotype was not found in my blood – frankly speaking, I did not qualify for the second round of the fight for life…Every person in such situation breaks down, cries, despairs, waits for the worst. I cannot break down, because I know she is waiting for me at home, that if I manage to look into her beautiful eyes ones again, I’m a winner. I cannot stop looking for rescue for us, I have to give us a chance!
Hope dies last
There is a treatment, that could give me a chance to experience a miracle once again. Experimental treatment in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Right now the only one that could save me.
This innovative treatment extracts lymphocytes from the tumors and the surrounding area. Thanks to genetical advances, the scientists identify and sort the cells, that recognize mutated protein to fight the cancer. It is proven that high doses of TIL helps fighting some types of cancers, those that have many mutated proteins. This therapy is not effective for popular types of cancer, but it is deadly for my cancer!!!
One million for life!
I don’t have the kind of money that could open the way for me, my time is running out, I am holding my child in my arms, the child who should have her mum!
I want to live for her, I want to see how she sits up, takes her first steps, runs towards me when I come back home. I want to be her mother not just a story in her life. Time is running out, please help me before it’s too late.