“Mommy, how is it in heaven?” Please, help me save my child!
Leczenie guza mózgu - terapia dr. Burzyńskiego USA
Ends at: 05 July 2017
I will tell you what a mother can do when she finds out that her baby has brain cancer. After such a diagnosis, the mother can be strong and not give up to the end, she can take her child home and wait until her child’s beautiful head starts to take control and starts killing her baby for which she would give her life for. Sometimes I think from all the suffering I’m not able to survive, then I look at him and I know that I have to save him, because the world without his smiling face will be sad and for me unbearable.
When I'm standing by his bed and I see his pale face, full of tears and sleeping restlessly. I feel like my heart is squeezing in unimaginable pain and tears start streaming down my cheeks without end ...the Night comes and my son sleeps but for me there will never be peace, I constantly hear those words which feel as if someone is repeatedly stabbing me in the heart - “your baby son has a brain tumor”.
I pray with all my strength that it is not true, I listen to his breath and beg for him to stay with me forever so that the time bomb in his head can be disarmed in time, not explode and to let him live.
I know all the horrors of cancer and wish that no one ever needs to go through this hell. Few years ago I won my fight with thyroid cancer and if I knew then how I would pay for this victory I would not fight to save my own life. I guess I blame myself. Kuba came into this world in 2009 making me the happiest woman on earth. I gave birth to a healthy gorgeous boy who constantly smiled at me, who let me forget all of my worries. He was a cure for all the sadness, it was enough for me to look at him to feel soothing and warmth in my heart. He has become my whole world and that is why now when I know he can die, my world is falling apart.
It all started when Kuba was 3 years old then started having speech problems and general development disorders. I fought for him like a lioness and thanks to our work today my son speaks normally and is no different from his peers. Almost no different than other kids….because in his head there is a tumor that wants to take him away from me.
In 2015, during an ordinary infection, something terrible happened that I will never forget. He had nosebleeds so strong that Kuba choked on his own blood and could not breathe and I almost fainted from panic and I did not know what to do. My son was scared screaming and I could not even call for help because I was panicking and everything was falling out of my hands. I never saw so much blood at the same time. At the hospital only the infection was found and after a few days we were sent home. After two consecutive days my son had a swollen right hand and could not move his neck. I started to look for help and answers again. Hematologists have found Wille Willebrand's blood disorder causing clotting problems. Unfortunately, the haemorrhages started to get worse. The worst happened in August 2016. From Kuba’s nose came out a blood clot the size of my hand. I can hear his screams to this day in my ears.
I decided that I would find out what really was wrong with my son and I would prove to the doctors that I was not crazy. As a mother I felt inside that something else was happening to my son and that Kuba’s life was in danger. The nose bleeds had already been happening constantly every few days. Kuba began complaining about pain in his feet and had morning sickness and my son became sad to withdrawn and constantly upset. It wasn’t my Kuba who would always smile that I saw that day. I begged a neurologist to get my son a head MRI scan. That’s when I learned that my child is dying. Kuba turned into a sad crying and frightened boy who sometimes asks me the hardest questions…such as how is it up there in heaven. He does not understand why he can’t play like other children and why now he is different from his peers. He was a first class student only for 15 days…
Our days now are consist of daily wandering from doctor to doctor, hospitals and constant medical tests. These are thousands of tears poured out of my and my baby's heart is an indescribable heartache, because I would give anything to make my child not suffer so much. The tumor is located in the worst possible location. The operation almost always causes loss of sight, speech, and mobility. The biopsy alone is a great threat that he will never smile again, will not hear, will not see. I promised myself and him that I would fight to the end, never give up and that no force in the world can take him away from me.
I found a treatment in the United States which can save my baby without the brain operation. Treatment would be conducted in Dresden, Germany under supervision of doctors from the United States, from where we will receive some of the needed drugs. The struggle for life of my only child has begun which without help will go away forever. I beg you do not let him suffer and die, his time has not yet come, I want to tell him so many beautiful words, I want to see him smile again and I believe that all these moments will come back to us again.