Cancer awaits Szymon's life

Neuroblastoma. A silent killer, which attacks a baby's organism unexpectedly. And suddenly you exchange your warm home for an oncology department. The place where death lurks everywhere. The department where little bald heads is a dominant view. They move slowly, connected to intravenous drip, like ghost battalions. They want only one thing – to be given a life again.

Everything started last March. Prolonged infections, colds, weakness. Everyone kept saying it is due to the season and a consequence of nursery. No one sensed that the monster awaits just around the corner.  Mean and determined to destroy everything it encounters. Then a stomachache appeared, crippling my child. We were seeking for help so many times. The doctors claimed it was beacuse of drug complication, they prescribed another drugs, antibiotics, specifics. All for nothing, it was only getting worse.

We were constant hospital visitors. When we were entering an emergency room, we were recognising the doctors and nurses. The other day, during a medical appointment, I asked if it can be tumor sympthoms.  I heard not to get excited so much and that mothers tend to overreact and trump diseases. Only after a few days, after another twinge, we met somebody who found help. We were waiting all night, hearing our child's screams. In the morning it was decided to do an ultrasound scan...

10 cm tumor revealed. A huge monster in my baby's belly. No one expected it. The doctors were shocked. Suddenly, many specialists appeared in my boy's room. In all this chaos, I only recognised words: operation, futher examinations and the worst: neuroblastoma.

When we were going to another hospital, I hoped it was a mistake or someone will unsay it. A brutal reality stroke me after we entered an oncology depatrment. Little bald heads, pale faces, feeble smiles. Sadness, pain and screams behind the walls. For five days I was afraid to leave our padded room. I was afraid to meet the reality, which became the part of our life. The treatmet began immediately. It was the last moment for saving Szymek's life. Chemotherapy, metastases to spine and head, enlarged lymph nodes – almost whole small body attacked by the disease. And all I could do was to wait for another doctors' step.

6 months has passed. Half a year of struggling for every day, of ebbs and flows, of growing fright... Screams, pain and silent request `hang in`... Now, the only sign of the disease is Szymon's bald head. He has more energy than many healthy children. His power could be shared with a few people. Unfortunately, neuroblastoma doesn't give up. It may be just waiting to attact again. I struggle with it, holding my son's hand and promising to keep him alive.

There are autograft, chemotherapy and operation ahead. Then a modern therapy with GD-2 immunoglobulins. The therapy which can save my son's life costs almost 1 million zlotys! The treatment has been available in Poland for not long, but our family can't afford it. I can't give up! You are our hope that we spent another year away form oncology department, and this nightmare will end. Szymon knows hospital rooms better than his own home. We want to have a chance. To give Szymon new life and a rythm free from death. Please, help!

Not until the disease can we realize how elusive everyday things are. We are still waitng for something to happen, instead of enjoy the present. Now I know. Single look, playng together, talks – every little thing matters. Because every minute may be the last one.

Being an `oncomum` is my greatest challenge. What I am afraid the most is the moment when Szymon asks `Mum, is this the death?` and I will have to look into his eyes and tell him that I lost. Please, don't let it happen. You are our only hope!

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No one can stop the good. Borysek left this world too soon...But he still watches over the ones who still struggle. The funds raised for his treatment will be given for saving, among the others, Szymek's life – by Borysek's mum's decision. So we reduce the amount of money to collect and we are still fighting. Please, support us! Less and less money is missing.