5-year-old Ala says 'Mum, i'll say a prayer for you'. Agnieszka didn’t want her daughter to grow up so fast, she didn’t want her to be praying for her. She sees a little girl she was like her daughter 20 years ago, when her mum was fighting the same battle. She lost, Agnieszka was left alone, without a mother. She doesn't want this to happen again. When Ala keeps asking 'are you going to die like grandma?’ And Agnieszka answers ‘No I’m going to live.’
1000 times over and over Agnieszka has been checking for lumps in her breasts. The same movements every time. Nothing was found until 2014, after a bath and another check up she found a small lump in her breast. For so many years she’s been scared for this moment, thinking it would never happen, but it did. At this point she wasn’t thinking about herself or death. The only thing on her mind was her 5-year-old blue eyed daughter Ala. The fact that there is a possibility that she can loose her and be left motherless. 'I can picture her crying the same way I did when I lost my mother.'
Two days before Agnieszka’s 31st birthday she was diagnosed with 3rd degree infiltrated breast cancer. It is a tumour that can rapidly spread and the chances of living are low. The 3rd degree means that the tumour isn’t reacting to a standard chemotherapy, which is why she got the strongest dose, however that still doesn’t suggest that shell have her health back. I look at my daughter praying that I have more than just a few months.
Agnieszka is waiting for her death. Everyday she counts down how many days she has left. Chemotherapy is the only treatment in Poland to overcome breast cancer. This doesn’t work in her case, therefore all she can do Is wait for the day that will take away her daughter from her. When the treatment came to an end, she was devastated as the chemo did not work. Agnieszka looked at others that were fighting the same battle, looking at the people that needed help. Then She came across a book under the title ‘cancer feeds on sugar’ After that she went to a conference to find out if her diet could help her survival. Quickly after Agnieszka found a contact to a German doctor whom she heard about at the conference. She then found hope. This therapy revolves around detoxing and improving her organism. It regulates the immune system.
Agnieszka felt her first needle like pain in her chest, 'it was nothing like I’ve ever felt before' she says. After a few months she recognised the pain and knew that it was metastasis. While she was attacked they had to cut parts of her skin and lungs. Her hand, back, chest was in pain, only to name a few. None of the painkillers subscribed were working. She just had to deal with it. Whenever she has her dose of morphine, all she can think about is that they’ll be less pain.
Agnieszka doesn’t care about her breast, she doesn’t care about her skin, all she is waiting for is the sentence ‘treatment is finished’ however she wants to hear it from the doctor, not the cancer. All she wants to do is go home to her daughter, not to watch her from above the skies. Unfortunately, treatment in Germany is extremely expensive, around 6,000 euros a month. This treatment will only finish when the metastasis stops, and her immune system is stronger, this will therefore help her beat cancer.
Agnieszka sees her illness on a daily basis, all she has to do is lift up her top and see the scars which remind her that she’s near death. Her friends and family tell her that her hair and face are different. One thing that hasn’t changed is her hope and willpower to live for her daughter. She doesn’t want to wait for death. She has the power to fight, but doesn’t have the income to support her illness, which is why she’s asking everyone for any help.
