I always wanted to have a daughter. However, i gave birth to two boys. When I found out that I'm pregnant again, and it was a baby girl I was beyond excited. My sons were teenagers already. They were so thrilled to become older brothers. Sometimes fate can have a way of turning things around. The price of my dream baby girl was hard to pay - down syndrome.
When I found out that my long wanted daughter will be born ill, I have reacted like anyone in my situation would - shook. Disbelieve. That's impossible, I thought, maybe they were wrong. At first, doctors were suspecting about down syndrome. Suspecting - leaving just a shadow of hope. Hope, that was soon to shatter into little pieces.
When the suspicion becomes a reality, soon after comes tears and fear. And then, a hundred questions. How is my child going to be? How is she going to live? Is she going to be hurt? Is she ever going to be independent? Will I be able to do it, how is my life going to look? I had no apprehensions about one thing because it was just obvious for me - I'm going to give birth to my baby girl and I will love her with all my heart...
Was I scared? A lot. Today I know that those kids are different, unique... They have their own needs. And they need special love and care. More laborious. Sometimes it's very hard. But every smile Amelka gives, rewards everything for the hard work. For those moments, that she smiles I live for...
I had 4 months to get used to the idea, of Amelka having down syndrome. She was born 30th of September 2014. So tiny, fragile, vulnerable. My poor baby first months of her life have spent in a hospital. Fate was testing her, checking if she can pull-out of it. She turned out to be so brave, so strong... It's been this way up till now.
Amelka was only 2 months when doctors decided, about open-heart surgery. I was terrified... I knew that any mistake on the operating table could end up me losing Amelka forever... I was not prepared to adapt to the thought, about my baby fighting for her life on the operating table when we ended up in the hospital again. Amelka caught a severe chest infection... She was fighting for 2 months. Once, because of doctors mistake in giving her the wrong medication, she was on the brink of death.
The heart surgery went well, but we ere in a hospital for a good few months. Amelka endured the operation very hard, she took ages to get better. Because she had to wait so long, today she develops slower... Unfortunately, not only she develops slower mentally like all children with down syndrome she also develops slower physically because of the fight she had to make for her life. She needs to catch up on the time he has lost.
Every day I'm fighting for my baby girl to be more efficient. The love I give her I could wrap up the whole world. Unfortunately, there are things I can't resolve with love. Our only obstacle, that takes the sleep off my eyes is money. We already spend every penny on exercises and rehabilitation for Amelka, but it's still not enough. It's essential so that Amelka can be independent! For her to walk, talk, know how to take care of herself, go to school...
Sometimes it's hard when I get a flow of thoughts, isn't she going to need to have more heart surgeries or what's going to happen to Amelka when I will be gone. That's why I wanted her to be as independent as possible. Help in a collection for rehabilitation - that's all I'm asking for. Everything else with love on the top I'm able to provide myself.
For some, it's just a child with down syndrome, but for me, she is a miracle. I can't imagine a life without her before she was born my life was empty. Amelka thought me to be happy from little things, unconditional love, finding beauty in most common things. When she smiles it's like the sun coming from behind the clouds. And she smiles almost all the times. For some additional twenty-first chromosome is a tragedy. For me, it's an additional reason to love my little girl, for which I would do anything... That's why I'm asking for help.