How to live on when cancer took almost everything?

It is hard for us, very hard ... My only son, my whole world... Pain, despair, indescribable suffering. If hell exists, we survived it here on earth. The brain tumor has left a lasting impression on Michael. He almost deprived him of life ... For a moment we won, we escaped from the verdict. For how long? I do not know. My son came out of this uneven fight with a huge stigma: he is not a healthy teenager, he can not go back to school. But I want to live so much, I want to heal so much ... I do everything in my power, but we barely make ends meet, so I am asking for help - only specialist rehabilitation can free Michał from the stigma of cancer. Please, help my son ...

In February, in just three days, Michał underwent very heavy operations on the brain. I did not understand how it could happen. A few weeks earlier, my son was a healthy, happy boy! He just started high school, he dreamed about law studies, and although it was never easy, we supported each day.

But at the beginning of 2017, our world collapsed ... Unbearable pain, hospital and diagnosis that knocks out the legs - a 4-centimeter tumor in the brain. Cancer, cancer - these words did not reach me. Doctors made the decision about immediate surgery. He woke up after a few days with so much pain that he writhed in agony. I thought my heart would break into pieces. A mother who is helpless in the face of the suffering of her child is experiencing so much pain that only a different mother in this situation is able to understand this. They made a decision about the tomography, and at that time Michał was already unconscious. He is drifting away. There was no contact with him. The neurosurgeon found sharp hydrocephalus. Immediately he was taken to the operating room, and the skull was trepansed there. They put drainage of the cerebrospinal fluid into the head.

After this operation, my son did not wake up ... They told me that the struggle for life is going on and nobody knows whether Michał will survive. Even before the operation, there was no contact with him ... I was pierced by pain and despair. If you can imagine hell, that's how terrible the suffering of a single mother is, looking at the only son who is in such a bad condition. It is impossible to describe or narrate .... Another day and another diagnosis - a stroke was found in Michał. The doctor made a dramatic decision on the next operation. Third in a few days! Again, you had to cut the newly stitched head.

I would like this year not to happen. Forget, return to the past - live modestly, but happily. But the sight of my child who fights for life will never disappear before my eyes. Hospital, Michał unconscious, doctors saying that they are not able to do more and have to pray for a miracle ... Today I do not know how I survived.
night from Saturday to Sunday. I was standing under the operating room and I thought I would not survive this pain. I prayed, I begged, I cried. But I could do nothing. After a long hours of surgery, I saw them taking their son out of the operating theater. Five people ran by his bed, pumping oxygen and supporting life functions artificially. I could not be with him, hug him, tell him to fight ... Exceptionally, they let me call and ask if he survived. He lived. He was in a coma, but he lived. This night was to be decisive. Although it is very difficult to experience the child's view in this state, the most important thing is that he is still here, that he is fighting...

After a few days, Michał was awake, and with a tube in his head, draining the cerebrospinal fluid outside, he was transported back to the neurosurgery department. These operations resulted in very severe and terrible complications: acute hydrocephalus, stroke, tachycardia, inadequate increases in arterial pressure, thrombus, paresis in the left lower limb, major disturbances and imbalances, and very big vision problems: acute squinting and duality of vision that they continue to this day. Michał has the removed part of the skull bone. 

Today Michał needs intensive rehabilitation and specialist treatment. It is very hard for us, I can not provide him with the care he requires. Because of my son's illness, I had to quit my job. We live in a tiny room in an old house - the conditions are difficult, but this is not the worst. Every day I wonder how to help my child, how to make him come back - just as it used to be.

I know that Michał can regain his health! Only long-term, intensive rehabilitation is necessary. Step by step, we'll fix everything that broke down the cancer. But we can not do it alone ... I can not pay for therapy, and I can not count on any other help. That's why I had to give up shame and fight for the health of the only child, ask for help from strangers. I believe that with your support Michał will recover, I will see the smile on his face again ... I want his happiness so much.