For my daughters to spend the next Mother's Day with me, not at my grave.

I am asking for your help, since don't have enough strength to win this battle on my own. I want to live for my girls, I want to be their mother, and not just a memory. I was absolutely desperate to have heard that practically I had only one chance left. If I can't make it now, I'm done... Without your help my younger daughter won't even remember me – I will disappear from her life when she needs mommy the most.

Not a long time ago I had a normal, ordinary life, which I loved dearly, enjoying every moment. Took out a mortgage on my dream home, had a job I really liked, and – first and foremost – a loving husband and two wonderful daughters, who were and are our greatest joy. My husband and I worked, our older daughter started school, the youger one went to kindergarten. 

I became worried when I started experiencing joint pain, but back then I just couldn't anticipate it might be anything so serious. But the pain was getting worse, my nights became sleepless and I became weak. I ended up in hospital in critical condition – my diagnosis was dire:  deffuse large B-cell lymphoma. I started my struggle with this monster. I had eight cycles of  chemotherapy, which emaciated me. Still, the disease relapsed quickly. I started another therapy – three cycles of extremely emaciating chemotherapy - thanks to which the disease went into remission and I was qualified for autograft. Today, I am 12 weeks after the procedure, the disease is back, and again – I am worn to a shadow.  

I've never been ostetatious with my condition, inside my own home I was recuperating after the chemo and getting ready for the next one. In every possible way I was trying to make sure my girls had a sense of normality and a peaceful environment, tried to be with them, talk to them, read them bedtime stories, play with them – even at my weakest. 

Now my girls are witnessing their mom being taken away by the disease. They are experiencing my weeks-long stays in hospital, where there are no visiting hours.  And even though it is my duty to support them, spend time with them, take on their burdens and share their joys – I lack strength to even get out of bed. Without the therapy my days here are counted, and this is why I am begging for your help so much!

This struggle has already lasted 20 months. At this point my only chance is CAR-T-cell therapy, but the costs are so far beyond our financial means – my life has been estimated at 1.5 million PLN! I'm holding on to my life so badly, I want to be a mom for my daughters, I want the younger one to have memories of me. My dream is to go with them to a playground, for a walk, hold their hands before they fall asleep and kiss them goodnight. They both claim that no-one hugs like mom – and I want to hug them so badly, I want to have this chance to be their mom. 

And so here I am begging for everyone's help. Please don't let the disease leave my girls without their mom – they are so small and vulnerable and need me so much. I know that the amount of money is huge, but it gives me a chance – my last chance to live and for my daughters to spend the next Mother's Day with me, not at my grave. 

Agnieszka